Proper 6 Year C

Readings for this week can be found here. Please note that we are using track 2. 

I am deeply disturbed by mistaken identity. It is something that I have feared since I was a little girl. There is a book that terrorized me in childhood. And terrorized is not even too strong a word. I was terrified of a book called “Are You My Mother?” Objectively, it is not a scary book. In fact, it is a children’s book. It has a light blue/greenish cover, with a harmless picture of a bird perched on the head of a dog lying down. And it is the story of a baby bird, trying to find its mother. That seems harmless enough to you, or even harmless enough to me as an adult. But as a child I was terrified by the idea that the baby bird does not know what its mother looks like, who its mother is. The page that haunts me is a page that depicts a backhoe, orange and yellow, towering over the baby bird, and the baby bird asks the backhoe, “are you my mother?” Oh, baby bird. Sweet, baby bird. The book ends well. I mean, of course it does, it is a book for three-year-olds. But I have been thinking of it this week as I have been wondering about these moments we heard together this morning in some very straightforward Biblical Texts. Both King David and Simon, the Pharisee, totally misunderstand when someone is clearly talking about them. They fail to see their own image depicted so obviously. Just as the baby bird, does not see its self as a bird, neither does Simon understand himself as a rude host, nor does David see himself as an adulterer and a murderer. I suppose there is a distinction that can be made about visual misunderstanding of self, and the more verbal one in each of our Bible passages today.

To misunderstand someone’s parable like version of yourself is perhaps not surprising. After all, Jesus rarely explains his parables (although he does with this one). And the parables frequently confused the poor disciples. It is a purposefully obfuscated comparison. Perhaps the initial hearers of a parable are always meant to mis-understand it. Or maybe we are all just too literal. But perhaps the two examples we have in today’s passages are just too close to home to be comprehended by their intended targets. When a parable is so clearly an indictment on a particular person, their inability to see it, to comprehend it has a lot to do with their own sense of themselves, and indicates a certain lack of awareness of self that we likely all share.  

            Simon and David go so far in their misunderstanding, and their mis-identification that they each utter a judgment on themselves. When Nathan is done talking about the man, David says: “The man who has done this deserves to die” and Simon, the Pharisee, replies to Jesus’ parable-like question about debts, he says that the debtor who was forgiven more debt would love more, making it clear that despite the fact that he, the man who invited Jesus into his own home and offered him a meal, that he loves Jesus less than a well known sinner. They are not at all self-aware. So my question is why? Why can’t Simon see himself as the debtor with the little debt? And why can’t David see himself as the rich man? And why can’t the bird see itself as a bird?

            Denial surely plays some part in this. And surely there is some truth to the fact that it is hard to be self-aware. But I want to make a case this morning for the importance of self awareness. It is an interesting virtue to be extolling, you might think, but I hope I can convince you that the woman in today’s Gospel passage, her deep faith she shows partly comes out of a knowledge and awareness of who she really is.

            As a contrast to the Pharisee, Simon, and King David we have the sinful woman. She is unnamed in our story, but she is the clear example for us of a person who is aware of her self. She knows her sin, everyone knows her sin, but she also knows what to do about it. She knows that she needs to show Jesus her love, and she will do so with emotion, action, and sacrifice. Her emotion is her tears, her actions are the kissing and washing, and she sacrifices her humiliation at being labeled a sinner-and her willingness to be something else. The faith she shows is not just in Jesus as the Christ, not just in Jesus who can forgive her sins, she also shows faith in her self. That faith manifests itself in her desire for forgiveness, she wants that forgiveness of her sins in part so that she can be more fully the person that she is. 

            This woman’s awareness of her self—combined with her realization that this moment where Jesus had come to dinner in her town was her moment to change who she was is what I this is a particular value today. What she does in this story is this intimate act, is a demonstration to us of the fact that it is through her knowledge of her self as a sinner, that leads her to the transforming action of the foot washing. Jesus makes the connection between forgiveness and love, which is think is an important one. He says, “her sins have been forgiven, hence she has shown great love” Love is a special word. We save it for special relationships. I remember it being a big deal among friends, when they were in the early months of a relationship, how soon they used the word love with a significant other. But I don’t think it had such a special place for Jesus, nor do I think it has a special place with God. Rather than making love an ideal, love is the normal way in which relationships are played out with God. And to begin with self awareness and self love is a good place to start. It is only by loving and knowing ourselves that we are able to be in healthy, loving relationships with others. And importantly, we also have to love and know ourselves before being in a healthy and loving relationship with God. If we understand that God loves us, even as we fall short and do not deserve that love, we must love ourselves enough to accept that we are loved by God.

            Self awareness is of particular importance to us as a community because we are a community. A community means that we are in constant and evolving relationships with each other. And part of being in good, healthy relationships with others also depends on knowing who we are, knowing how we come off to others, knowing when our hard edges, or judgmental tendencies, or the way we tend to dominate conversations is helpful for our continued happiness in community. In order to have those nor idealized, but rather regularized relationships with one another through Christ, we will need to know and love ourselves.

            Okay, preacher, that’s nice talk, and it’s nice to imagine that love we might more deeply feel for ourselves, each other and God if we knew ourselves better, but I think we are really lacking the how, at this point. How do we become more self aware? I suspect there are a number of ways, but here are my two thoughts this morning. The first way to better know one’s self is to interact with other people, and if possible a wide range of other people. Then when you go back home, think about their responses to you, and yours to them. What did they say about you that revealed something about yourself. People often tell me that I seem very warm and open, and I have come to realize that a lot of this comes from the fact that I am quick to smile. I learned this about myself from other people. And my second idea about gaining more self knowledge is that an activity like journaling can help get towards the root of a person. Sometimes it takes a few months, looking back and reading old entries you can pick up on something about yourself that wasn’t clear before.

            Knowing one’s self, and knowing the ways in which we need forgiveness and transformation lead to a greater and deeper sense of self love, and a greater appreciation for God’s love for us as individuals. The beautiful thing about God’s love is that it is so specific, it is for each of us, and it is also specifically for everyone else. And it comes with the real responsibility to be in good, healthy loving relationships with each other. We demonstrate our loving relationships with one another, through the love of God, by sharing a meal together, a very intimate act, each week with the Eucharist. I am grateful for the meal we share, and grateful for the ways in which our relationships provide an opportunity for love to grow for ourselves, between each other, and with God. AMEN.